I had the incredible pleasure of delivering a storytelling and stand up session at Microsoft yesterday which necessitated a trip to London Town. But, unlike the session, it wasn’t all plain sailing. So, in case you’d like a little reminder on how to plan for a commute – here’s how it went down for me:

1. Set alarm for 6am
2. Fail to turn alarm off properly so it wakes your husband while you’re brushing your teeth
3. Go to station carpark
4. Realise that because you have a new phone, and the machine doesn’t take cash or cards, you need to download the farking parking app AGAIN!
5. Also realise that (because you have a new phone) you can’t authorise the payment without downloading your banking app
6. Download the wrong banking app – right bank, wrong type of account
7. Do it again – right bank, right type of account, wrong country
8. Download the correct banking app
9. Get train
10. Photograph bloody everything because “Look! A barge! And it’s called Argie!!” (Incidentally, it’s full of cheese. You can read about it here)
11. Have a bloody incredible time delivering your social mobility story to some beautiful people
12. Get on train to come home
13. Hear while still in the station that said train has a fault
14. Attempt to get off to catch train without a fault and discover doors are locked
15. Arrive at destination six minutes late which means you have missed your connection
16. Wait an hour for the final leg train
17. Wonder how people do it every. single. day (and why you are not a better organised human being :D)

Big love to all the commuters. Bigger love to Microsoft for not only giving me a gig – but also something to write about 😉

Want to book me as a speaker? Email bookings@tonikent.co.uk or you can read more about what I have to offer here.

giant christmas baubles that are big enough to sit in office blocks along a canal. there is a barge in the canal a barge on a canal a woman stood in front of a glass wall with a city scape behind her