I had the excitement of a secret-squirrel trip to London to rehearse for an event I’m compering that I’m not yet allowed to speak about. As if that wasn’t a thrilling enough prospect, the journey itself proved to be extremely eventful as it has been at least two years since I last visited ‘Town’. I thought that perhaps it might be reassuring to anyone else who feels equally thrown by the prospect of actually having to be somewhere that isn’t a desk at home to share my experience:
1. Leave just before 7am
2. Discover your local station’s parking machine no longer works
3. Download a parking app so you’ve now got three of the f–kers on your phone
4. Get train
5. Get tube
6. Get Thameslink
7. Realise you don’t know the area
8. Discover no taxis for one hour
9. Try to download Uber but fail due to lack of signal – how is there no signal?!
10. Discover your destination is only 10 mins walk
11. Try not to look like a total tourist as Google tells you which direction to walk in
12. Do your thang
13. Rejoice in seeing real people in real life!
14. Thameslink, tube, train
15. Unexpectedly get your period – I’m 46, they don’t behave like they used to…
16. Miss your train because the board said the train was going to be late. So you sit away from the platform. And then see the train magically caught up with itself. And realise too late. And stand there watching it pull away from the platform.
17. Wait an hour
18. Get on train – breathe sigh of relief

My next trip is to Yorkshire……god only knows how that journey is going to go!

Want to check out where I’m performing that *I can* tell you about? Take a look at my upcoming performances.