There is a saying that in midlife, women start to become invisible. Not this one 😉

I’ve wanted to be on stage since I was a child but could never quite figure out how that was going to happen given that I:

• Couldn’t really sing
• Never quite knew how to act (too loud, too fidgety, not enough nuance)
• Didn’t have the money or connections that help you on that path

Persistence pays off

And whilst I never did get parts any bigger than ‘Dancing Dinner Plate in the Giant’s House’ in Jack & the Beanstalk at primary school, or beyond the first round of auditions for musicals at secondary school, there was always a bit of an itch.

It was an itch that I scratched in private by writing poetry for family and friends, and in public when said family and friends asked me to recite them at weddings and birthday parties.

This grew to being asked to deliver ditties at off-sites, something I found I was far more capable of (and enjoyed more than) delivering presentations on the vagaries of virtualisation. But it was only when I started telling my story that things started taking off. And wow did they take off.

Sharing for the right reason

Ultimately, I wanted to connect with people. And to show them that things would be ok. To encourage women especially that it’s alright to put yourself out there and help those who feel a bit lost in the world to know they’re not alone.

From the initial blog posts that I wrote about parenting, poverty, grief and leaving corporate life (which you’ll find in my first book of essays; Reasons to be Cheerful Part 1) to being trusted with hosting duties at the UK Social Mobility Awards 2021 and 2023, there’s nothing I’ve wanted more than to be able to feel like a relatable voice to others. And get dolled up and hold a mic – ok, I admit it 😉

Staying visible

It would be much easier not to do it. Establishing a career as a keynote speaker is not easy. I am not in the same league as the likes of Sue Perkins, Gary Neville and Bear Grylls but I have either spoken at the same events as them or been a contender for the same gig… So I know I’m good company.

As a woman approaching 50 I have no desire to sit quietly and disappear. The first inkling I got of this was when my then 16 year-old daughter invited a load of friends over and I was overshadowed (quite literally) by a swarm of 6ft boys and long-legged girls; all hair and testosterone and completely unaware of the small woman in the hallway except that it was a ‘parent’. We need to make sure we continue to express ourselves and take up space if only to remind ourselves that we don’t exist in service to our children.

Feeling heard

And far from the stage time being a sense of self-indulgence, it’s actually more about what you hear afterwards. I have the rule that ‘audience experience is everything’ and it’s in the conversations that you get the real reward. If it’s a social mobility talk then I’ll get “that’s my background too” or “I’ve been afraid to speak up ’til now” or “can you share how you handle ‘x’ about your childhood with your children”.

If it’s an awards or a charity function then it’s about keeping the right energy, making sure things are moving and getting your pronunciation right (pro tip: ask for phonetic spelling on the autocue if you’re unsure). People want to feel they’ve had a good time – and on that note, don’t ever drink if you’re delivering as tempting as the complementary champagne may seem, no-one likes a drunk host.

Learning and growing

Tonight brings a new experience in a very exciting venue. I’m off to deliver the keynote at the Test Valley Business Awards, taking place at the British Army Flying Museum in Middle Wallop. The dress code is ‘lounge suits’ which doesn’t translate for women so I’ve taken it to mean ‘not a ballgown’ and have treated myself to a spangly jumpsuit in the House of Fraser sale. Whilst I’ve tons of experience in gala dinners, conferences and awards, I’m yet to do one that is for a geographic business community and am excited to see what it will bring. Rivalry? Revelry? Both?

Talking about taking centre stage

If you’d like to hear me speak about taking centre stage – and hear a little about the woman who inspired me to begin my performing quest in earnest, check out today’s episode of the podcast.

Book me to speak / host your awards!

If you like the sound of what I do, and are looking for someone with a professional, relatable approach and a great sense of humour – get in touch

Watch an extract of my work

Want to see what I’m like on stage? Here you go!