Social mobility and history repeating itself…for those of us who experience the upward trajectory, much of the fire in our belly comes from an ambition to have a different outcome to that of our parents. Or to disrupt a future narrative that appears fixed by virtue of our postcode.
At times it’s felt like my whole life has been focused on ensuring that history doesn’t repeat itself. Those of you who have heard me speak on social mobility or do stand-up, will know that there’s a LOT I didn’t want to experience again.
The history that I didn’t want to repeat
I don’t know what made me so alert to my surroundings but I was hyper-aware from an early age that I wanted to avoid:
- Being poor
- Being reliant on benefits
- Being harshly judged
- Being in a household with high levels of shouting & stress
- Being limited in my life choices
All of this ultimately boils down to the first point. Life is immeasurably harder when you don’t have security of income.
Building a new cycle
I often say that I made two decisions – to not be poor and to not have children early. But I think that I could, in fact, boil it down to one: to not repeat the cycle. There is nothing like watching a woman experience what my mother did to convince you that you absolutely don’t want that life for yourself. And so, off I went on an adventure in social mobility that I characterise as having five key components:
- Being clear on what I didn’t want
- A second chance at education
- Meeting the female role models I needed to see
- Taking risks & asking for opportunities
- People taking a chance on me
Moving on into later life, I’d add to that list ‘being clear on what I won’t put up with’ – something that has held me in incredibly good stead but has also been hard. If you’re interested in more on that, check out my collection of podcast episodes on estrangement (warning: some of it is a bit heavy!).
History repeating itself in a good way!
So whilst I’m trotting along focusing on not repeating past mistakes or trying my hardest to make sure my children don’t experience some of the difficulties that I did (whilst simultaneously trying not to mollycoddle them – argh!) I hadn’t thought about the fact that history can repeat in a good way. Something that was brought home to me significantly just a couple of months ago.
What they don’t teach you at school
Something I have observed at the local secondary school (and I suspect it’s not the only one) is that, when it comes to post-18 advice, there’s two main areas of focus:
- University
- A highly competitive apprenticeship
Jobs are spoken about as something that happens when you get to your 20s (I mean – wtf?). Or as a career you have to commit yourself to via the apprenticeship route. There is not a conversation about the fact that you could take your first step on the ladder without feeling a shed load of pressure. Or receive support and direction on how you might go about securing that first role.
Get a job
As is well documented, the place where I met some of my most positive female role models was at Reed Employment. It was thanks to Reed that I not only gained my first full-time role as their Branch Administrator and some friends for life, they also placed me in my second role which led me to meeting the man who would become my husband. So, when it came to the point that my daughter had finished her A-levels and didn’t know what to do – I had a cracking idea 🙂
Full circle
I suggested my daughter get in touch with Reed Employment. Fortunately there is a branch in our local town, so off she went with her CV and an appointment to sit down with the Perm Consultant in person.
They had a conversation. Our daughter received advice, got some feedback, got to know a bit about what’s possible.
She got an interview…..
And then a second interview….
And then she was offered a job.
We bought shoes and clothes. My daughter bought a handbag. Three weeks after stepping through the Reed Employment door she popped on her heels and stepped into the world of full-time work and I couldn’t be prouder or happier.
Thanking my lucky stars
Watching my daughter go through this experience after a period where there was so much emphasis on university (whether that was your preferred route or not), was an affirmation that there are so many different routes you can take – you just need to find what’s right for you.
University is perfect for some people. Apprenticeships are perfect for some people. Going straight into work is perfect for some people. And if that last option is what you – or your young adult is after – then you can always talk to Reed 😉
Looking for a speaker on social mobility and history repeating itself?
Watching patterns repeat across generations is a big part of what I talk about on stage. If that’s a story your audience needs to hear, check out my social mobility keynote speaker service page, or head to the contact form to make an enquiry.
Footnote: This post is not sponsored – but if the team at Reed HQ do want to invite me to speak on all things social mobility…..well maybe they’d like to check out my showreel!